Book 3. Family Issues
(Christian, Gay, Adoption, Childcare, Grandparents, Genealogy, Entertaining, Housekeeping, Cleaning)
Volume 1. Christian Family Basics
Chapter 1. The Christian Family
Religious Values in General
Traditional Family Values Info
Traditional Roles In The Family
Man’s Roles/ Woman’s Roles
Christian Family Websites
The Good Woman is Modest & Virtuous
The Christian Woman, Pro View
The Christian Woman, Negative View
Christian Women in the Bible
Christian Women Websites
Chapter 3. The Man is Head of the Family
The Christian Man
Flee From Sexual Immorality
Christian Men’s Resources
Sexual Addiction for Christians
Christian Porn Addiction
Christian Sex Addiction Websites
Chapter 4. Raise Christian Children
Raise Children According to the Bible
Bible Quotes About Children
Keeping Children Innocent
Christian Youth Resources/ Christian Teen Websites
Christian College Students Websites
Chapter 1. Gay Marriage Basics
Gay Marriage Info
Gay Marriage Websites/ Domestic Partner Websites
Gay Wedding Services
Anti-Gay Marriage
Gay Family Info
Lesbian Couples/ Lesbian Family
Gay Family Websites
Gay Family Resources
Gays Who Want Children
Child of Lesbians Without a Father
Diversity Books for Children
Adopt an Emancipated Minor
Gay Adoptions
Gay-Friendly Egg & Sperm Banks
Gay Divorce
Gay Domestic Violence
Lavendar Marriage/ Marriage of Convenience/ Straight Spouse-Gay Spouse
Christians Against Gays/ Homosexuality in the Bible
Christian Gay Info/ Gay Christian
Christian Gay Websites
Buddhist Gay
Jewish Gay
Moslem Gay/ Arab Gay
New Age Gay/ Gay Spiritual
Radical Faerie Fellowship
Other Religions Gay
Grey Gay/ Older Gay/ Mature Gay/ Senior Gay
Gay Older Men Dating Websites
Gay Senior Housing
Adoption Information
Adoption Bill of Rights
Attachment Disorder Info
The Open Adoption/ Everybody Shares
Adoptive Families/ Families Who Adopt Children
Major Adoption Websites
Adoption Websites Master List
Adoption Law Info
State Adoption Agencies
The State Government Portals
Adoption Resources
Adoption Books
Adoption Products
Adoption Scams
Adopt an Adult
Adopt an Emancipated Minor
Travel for Adoptive Families
Adoption Insurance For Sale
Adoption Summer Camps
Biological Father/ Birth Father Not Married to the Mother
Christian Adoption Services
Gay Adoptions
Jewish Adoptions
Minority Adoption Info
Respite Services For Adoptive Parents
Single Parent Adoption Websites
Special Needs Adoptions
Un-Adoption/ Can’t Handle the Adopted Child, Give Him/ Her Back
Chapter 5. Inconvenient Baby/ Baby Not Wanted
Teen Pregnancy Info
Teen Motherhood/ Teen Parent Info
Unwanted Pregnancy Info
Maternity Homes Info
Child Abandonment/ Unwanted Baby
Put Your Child Up for Adoption
Abandoning an Older Child/ Safe Havens
After the Adoption
Adoption Registry/ Adoption Records/ Reunion With Birth Parents
Adoption Search Services
Adoption Support Groups
Chapter 7. Canadian Adoption Basics
Canadian Adoption Info
Provincial Adoption Info
Chapter 8. Worldwide Adoption Info
Australia Adoptions
British Adoptions
New Zealand Adoptions
Adopting a Child Overseas, American Law
International Adoptions/ Foreign Adoptions, American Style
Foreign Adoption Websites
World Newspaper Link Websites
Specific World Newspaper Websites
Volume 4. Childcare Services/ Find a Daycare Provider
Chapter 1. Childcare Basics/ Daycare Basics
Childcare Options/ Daycare Ideas
Childcare Protocols/ Set Specific Rules
Child Security Basics
Ask Questions/ Do an Interview
Keep an Eye on the Caregiver
Background Check Websites
Web Camera on your Children
Butler Info
Daycare Info
Doula Info
Online Play Groups/ Babysitting Co-ops
Chapter 2. Find a Local Babysitter
Hire a Trustworthy Babysitter
Hire a Male Babysitter?
Local Babysitting Services
Babysitting Websites
How to Babysit
Chapter 3. Childcare Resources/ Daycare Resources
Childcare Resources/ Childcare Organizations
General Child Care Websites
Daycare Websites
Special Needs Child Daycare
State Childcare/ Daycare Licensing Offices
Chapter 4. International Daycare/ World Childcare
Australia Daycare Info
British Childcare Resources
Canadian Childcare/ Canadian Daycare
Provincial Daycare Offices Canada
Chapter 5. Childcare, Dependent Care of a Disabled Relative as an Income Tax Deduction
Flexible Spending Accounts/ FSA
Dependent-Care Flexible Spending Account/ DCFSA
Dependent Care Tax Credit
Canadian Federal Child Care Deduction
Chapter 6. Au Pair Basics/ Nanny Basics
Au Pair Info
Au Pair Websites
Nanny Websites
Nanny Placement Agencies
Nanny Schools
Chapter 7. World Au Pair/ World Nanny
Au Pairs World
Australia Au Pair/ Nanny
Austria Au Pair/ Nanny
British Au Pair/ Nanny
Canadian Au Pair/ Nanny
France Au Pair/ Nanny
Germany Au Pair/ Nanny
Greece Au Pair
Irish Au Pair/ Nanny
Italy Au Pair/ Nanny
Netherlands Au Pair/ Nanny
Switzerland Au Pair/ Nanny
Volume 5. Miscellaneous Family Stuff
Chapter 1. Grandparents Basics
Grandparents as Caregivers/ Raising My Kids’ Kids
Grandparents Visitation Rights
Grandparent Resources/ Grandparent Websites
Grandparent-Grandchild Vacations
Widowhood Info
Deal With Grief
Grief Websites
Grief Resources
Canadian Grief Resources
Basic Genealogy
Genealogy Newsgroups
Online Obituary/ Online Condolences/ Legacy
Genealogy Websites
Family Crests/ Coats of Arms
Genealogy & Genetic Testing
Reunions, Family
State Libraries
Australia Genealogy
British Genealogy
Canadian Genealogy
Irish History/Ireland Genealogy
Volume 6. Housekeeping/ Home Economics/ The Domestic Arts
Chapter 1. Cleaning, Adding Atmosphere
The Home Arts/ Housekeeping
List of Housework Tasks
Housework & Love
The Martyr Doing all the Housework & Other Work
List of Housekeeping Library Information
Things to Do Around the House
Housekeeping One-Liners/ DIY One-Liners
Housekeeping Websites/ Housework Websites/ Home Economics Websites
Home Maker Websites
Introduction
Universal Law of Cleaning
Cleaning Windows
Cleaning Bathrooms
Use Doormats
Clean Floors
Clean Carpets
Clean Furniture
Stains On Carpet
Cleaning Walls & Ceilings
Danger Spots
Cleaning Specific Stains
Cleaning One-Liners
Germ Hotspots
Cleaning Websites
Professional Cleaning Services
Chapter 1. Setting Up an Event
Public Event, Setting One Up
Planning an Event
Planning Events Websites
Event Planners For Hire
Hire a Musician
Entertainment Booking Agencies
Chapter 2. Entertaining Guests
How to Entertain/ Put on a Party
Party Websites/ Entertaining Websites
Tending The Bar/ Bartender Drinks
Some Specific Drinks
Bartender Websites/ Mix Drinks Websites
Appendix 1. Public Domain Books
The Cook's Oracle; and Housekeeper's Manual, by William Kitchiner
The Cook and Housekeeper's Complete and Universal Dictionary; Including a System of Modern Cookery, in all Its Various Branches, by Mary Eaton
The Easiest Way in Housekeeping and Cooking by Helen Campbell, 1893
Domestic Cookery, Useful Receipts, and Hints to Young Housekeepers, by Elizabeth E. Lea,
The Cyder-Maker's Instructor, Sweet-Maker's Assistant, and Victualler's and Housekeeper's Director, by Thomas Chapman
Housekeeping in Old Virginia, by Marion Cabell Tyree
The New England Cook Book, or Young Housekeeper's Guide, by Anonymous, 1836.
A Little Housekeeping Book for a Little Girl, by Caroline French Benton
Trials and Confessions of a Housekeeper, by T. S. Arthur
Appendix Two. Bunch of Family Books
The "People Power" Family Superbook contains basic information about the many areas you need to know about when running a family and a household.
I deal with mostly five areas:
Baby.
Parenting.
Children’s Life/ Teen Life
The home as a building.
Buying stuff for the home.
Refer to some of my other books like the medical and health one, the travel and recreation one, the money and real estate book and my education book which are all concepts implicit in running a household.
For information about food health, refer to my medical book.
For information about domestic violence, refer to my love and sex book.
For information about contraception, refer to my love and sex book.
For information about parenting a child with a mental or physical disability, refer to my disability book.
Consumer education books are at #640.7 or TX335 at the library.
Cooking books are at #641 at the library.
Home economics/ thrift type living books are at #332.024 or TX326 at the library.
Raising a family books are at #306.85, #646.78, #649.1 and HQ743-HQ769 at the library. There will probably be several hundred there if it's a city library.
Family books in general are at #306.80-90 or HQ536.
Marriage books are at #306.7 at the library.
Try #362.4 at the library for books about children's disability organizations, #649.1511, HV1596 and RJ506 for books about raising disabled children.
Books about problem children, children who are nonconformists are at #649.3 or RJ53 at the library.
Books about breastfeeding are at #613.2, #649.33 or RJ216 at the library.
Books about how to feed children are at #649.3 or RJ53.
Books about helping children learn to read are at #649.58 or LB1050.5 at the library.
Child psychology books are at #305.231 or HQ792 and you will find a few at #155, the general self-help section.
Try pueblo.gsa.gov, 888-8pueblo for some government booklets on parenting.
Information about sex education is in my love book and at #649.65 or HQ57 at the library.
Practical household books start at #640 and go to #649. There are many food preparation books at #641, child rearing at #649.
640. Household Stuff.
641. Food and drink.
642. Food and meal service.
643. Home improvement.
644. Household utilities.
645. Household furnishings.
646. Clothing, cosmetics, love, family issues.
647. Housekeeping.
648. Household sanitation.
649. Family life, child rearing, home nursing.
If you're looking for real estate and home information, refer to both my real estate and home book or go to #332.70 to #333 at the library.
For information about fertility and pregnancy, go to #618 at the library.
For extensive information about substance abuse, refer to my medical and well-being book or go to #362.29, #363.41, #615.7883, #616.801, #616.85-86 or HV5306 to HV5822, QK617 and RC564-RC1230 at the library.
Books about children and drug use are at #649.4 or HV5824 at the library. Books about substance abuse at work are at #658.3822 and HF5549.5.
For information about educating children in the academic sense as opposed to the parenting sense, refer to my education book or go to #370 to #379 and #792-793 (educational recreation activities) at the library.
Children's education is at #372-373 at the library where you should find information about children's books.
For information about money, either get my money book or go to #332 at the library.
For information about pollution in the home, either refer to my medical and well-being book or try #333, #613.5, #613.6, #690.837 and RA577 at the library. Books about home health/ environmental medicine are at #613.5 at the library. Books about pollution are at #304.28 or GF75. Books about poison/ toxicology are at #615.902 or RA770-RA1238 at the library. Books about poison are at #615.951 or RA1242. Books about chemical sensitivity syndrome are at #615.902 or RB152.6.
If you're interested in country living and homesteading, go to #630.2, #641.4 and #643 sections or S501 at the library.
Check out books about tools at #670.42.
Books about solar energy are at #333.7. Books about pumps are at #621.64.
Books about home energy are at #333.7 and #621.45 at the library.
Look in both the Yellow and White pages of your phone book under Social Service Organizations for the Parent Assistant Line.
There are parenting classes around. Check around through the YMCA and other social support agencies.
The major reference book for parenting is probably the Sourcebook on Parenting and Child Care (oryxpress.com).
National Parent Information Network
U.S. Department of Education
800-583-4135
npin.org
Free service, will attempt to answer any parenting question.
The National Council on Family Relations (ncfr.com) has an online database called Family Resources.
National Parenting Center
800-753-6667
818-225-8990
tnpc.com
National Association of Family Child Care
800-359-3817
nafcc.org
National Assocation for the
Education of Young Children
800-424-2460
naeyc.org
Volume 1. Christian Family Basics
Chapter 1. The Christian Family
Religious Values in General
From a moral, spiritual religious view, I was raised as a Catholic and regardless of my lifestyle now, I still think children should be brought up with religious values. We went to church every Sunday as a family where we saw other families just like ourselves there.
I believe that parents of children up to at least the age of 14 should go to church every Sunday with them to give them a religious base that they at least know about and can build on later should they choose to. I know that children raised without church often grow up missing a kind of community sense that I grew up with in the church.
At the very least, church gives children a moral foundation and a sense of community to know that they belong to this religious group that is geared for goodness over evil.
You need family values one way or another. You can extend family solidarity by having family prayers before meals and at bedtime and have Bible readings and Bible studies.
Watch the kid's shows on the Trinity Broadcasting Network, tbn.org, with your children on Saturday morning.
Even if you don't go to church, you should go for the kids' sake until they're teenagers to give them some kind of moral compass. Consider Sunday School and Christian summer camp. Give your children Bibles and other religious books as they're growing up. Read Bible stories and say prayers before bedtime.
Traditional Family Values Info
Enjoy each other.
Love and support each other through good times and bad until death do you part.
By traditional family values, I don’t necessarily mean religious values even though this is where traditional values come from and the two often go hand in hand, especially with the right wing political-religious climate in the heartland right now.
There are plenty of Christian family books at around #240 to #260 at the library and books about other religions from #290 to #299. Pretty well every major religion has a code of conduct as to how a family should live together.
There are some psychology-sociology books about the family at #306.850 or HQ535 at the library.
The following are some basic tenets of traditional family values:
Even though the family has traditionally been defined as a woman, man and children, nowadays, some liberals define it as any group of people where love is present on an ongoing, day by day basis so this is it, a family is defined by the amount of love there is in it.
The man and woman are married in a church as opposed to a civil marriage or shacking up.
Commitment means to commit which means that when the emotion of love is not there, you still giving effort through sheer willpower and a sense of dedication.
Don’t get married until there’s some water under the bridge, you know each other to some extent. Many minority cultures have partially arranged marriages where the players barely know each other when they marry but are expected to get to know each other and fall in love as they go on in married life. This is a crapshoot. Get to know each other first.
Women can work if they want but the general implicit contract is the man as the breadwinner, the woman as the mother who takes care of the children and the home.
Being a parent is hard. Don’t have more kids than you can reasonably parent well as hands-on parents.
The code of traditional family values is to give the relationship honest effort even if it feels like the love is gone which doomed many Catholics and others to stay in loveless marriages but nowadays, if it isn’t working out after some honest effort, it’s better to divorce and move on than to stay in a dead relationship bordering on contempt. After the divorce, love your kids more than you hate each other.
The family should be bonded by love and seek to live by love with each other.
The family should actively strive to nurture and support one another.
There must be a moral code to live by, either the Ten Commandments, Jesus’s message of love each other as you love yourself, the Humanist code of conduct, Moslem rules, etc.
Work together as a family unit, as a team with the mother and father as the moral and spiritual leaders.
Be passionately dedicated to your family. It should be the most important thing in your life, beyond your work and your hobbies. Commit to your spouse and children as your highest responsibility, motivation and inspiration in life.
Try for an emotionally tight feeling within the family and try for a unique personal relationship with every individual in the family. You have to spend time with each other.
Above all else, be loyal to your family.
Children must honor their parents.
Don’t be too serious, too full of rules and regulations. In a loving family, the kids will be self-motivated. Try for an atmosphere of ease and cohesion in the house.
The most successful family I’ve ever seen was a Christian family who sang together as Christian folk group. The family that does things together gets strong and stays strong.
Parents should mentor the kids. Older kids should mentor the younger ones, show them the ropes of life so to speak.
Be emotionally close with each other. The players should each feel a sense of belonging to each other and the family.
The family laughs together and enjoys life together.
Spend time with the kids, both relaxing time and quality time where you’re doing things together.
The family visits relatives, cultures positive friends and other good families to socialize with and help each other through the ups and downs of life.
The family does recreational things together.
The family develops customs like Sunday dinner, weekly church/ synagogue attendance, certain traditions on holidays, etc.
The family takes care of its own. This means to have the elders live with you rather than send them off to senior centers.
People don’t try to control each other. They try to nurture each other become better and happier people.
Don’t watch crap on TV that could potentially put a wedge into proper family values. There are many disgusting things on TV, geared to exploit sex and violence that are not good for family values.
Minimize TV watching overall. Watch positive family values shows.
The family that eats together stays together. Cook food with love.
Pets are good for the overall atmosphere within a family.
Take vacations together as a family while the kids are young. This will be your only chance to be with them exclusively before they grow up.
Listen to the children. Allow them to contribute their ideas to the way the family operates.
Don’t be embarrassed by being a family person. Certain elements in the media try to portray it as uncool but nothing is cooler than a loving family sticking up for each other.
Every individual will have a life outside the family but the important thing is that the family is always the base and everybody comes back to that center to recharge, gather strength and love each other.
The function of the parents is to raise honorable, noble children.
Be a strong, loving couple both for each other and to show the kids what love is.
The father can be the symbolic leader but the mother has an equal say in most things.
Encourage an open atmosphere where kids can talk to you and ask questions without worrying about it.
Parents are actively involved in the children’s lives. They know what they’re doing and help with schoolwork.
Good families are compassionate. They occasionally go out into the community and volunteer to help out somewhere.
Try to have some involvement in the child’s school. Volunteer, visit on visiting day, etc.
Teach children to be honest, to not lie.
When you feel tired and frustrated, get some rest in order to avoid taking it out on a family member.
Respect the dead but move on with your lives. The dearly departed want you to keep on living and not to excessively mourn them.
Try to love your in-laws.
The mother should really stay home until the kids are over 12 years old.
Celebrate birthdays for the kids’ sake.
Don’t nag.
Don’t get a prenuptial agreement. There should be enough trust and love there. after all, you’re getting married.
Don’t leave porn laying around where kids can see it.
Always plan for the future.
Keep your family life as simple as possible.
Traditional Roles In The Family
There's something to be said for people who gather together at church to sing and pray with one another.
Atheist upon going to church
Spiritual beliefs strengthen the love bond and ultimately the family structure at its roots. This brings both humility and a sense of well-being to the family unit.
It tends to make both partners take responsibility for their roles in the marriage and helps them lose that oneupmanship/ competitive/ powerplay game that many marriages deteriorate to. I was brought up in a Catholic home which implicitly encourages the family bond.
Many happy couples are religious because that puts them on the same spiritual level and helps greatly in their communications with each other. When you live by the Bible or another Holy Book, you have a common ground.
You're spozed to live in grace, love and peace and many religious couples do although not all.
Happy couples talk, share an openness, are polite, honest, kind and forgiving.
They show gratitude to each other. They really like each other. They're best friends.
They each have a role and let each other be themselves. They strive to bless each other rather than hurt each other.
They balance each other out, the masculine and the feminine. They learn from each other but don't impose upon each other. They grow together as husband and wife. In hard times, they turn to God for comfort and help each other.
Families go to church together where they see other families like themselves. The priest gives sermons on family values, the families socialize together in organized activities and ultimately feel a bond as part of the community. Going to church, regardless of whether you believe in God deep down, is still good because it's a bonding experience.
Children need a moral base during the formative years like church. The music, the sermon, the other people, it's all a good thing for the soul and for the relationship.
Find a church that has interactive activities and music that can get you feeling something and doing things with other people.
The marriage is a partnership but when it comes right down to it, the man takes his place as the symbolic head of the family. He is the caretaker of his wife, a beautiful work of art, cherishing this beautiful creation of God.
The fifth chapter of Ephesians tells man to love his wife as his own body, to nourish it and cherish it just like Christ loves us. Serve, honor and love your wives.
Genesis 2:22-23 says Adam was struck by wonder by Eve. She completed him and loved him, the jewel of his creation, part of him, lost without her.
Some women get down on the Christian edict demanding that a woman obey her man. It doesn't equate to slavery. The woman is designed not to serve the man but to co-serve him along with God.
She must respect him and be his helpmate. A partnership means teamwork with both working together on mutually agreed upon goals.
Love always means submitting to the other's needs beyond yourself regardless of whether you're the man or the lady. A man needs to be a man and a woman needs to be a lady.
We all know intuitively what that means. That's it, right there, communication, intimacy, openness, forgiveness, self disclosure, taking responsibility and sharing your life, that's the Christian way.
I contend that going to church, mosque, synagogue or wherever and belonging to a religious organization can work magic on the soul of the relationship.
Don' knock it 'til you've tried it. There are a lot of real nice people that go to church and they will be your friends if you let them, then, sometime, you can return the favor, that's what religion means to me.
A Christian radio show called Focus On The Family (Colorado Springs, CO 80995, family.org, 800-232-6459) discusses all manner of family issues from the point of view of traditional values taken right out of the Bible. It's inspirational show with some good common sense ideas. You might find it on a Christian radio station in your area.
The Trinity Broadcasting Network (tbn.org) has some good shows about love and family. Most preachers typically give a few sermons on these topics. They have programs exclusively with love for youth.
Basically, the traditional view states that the man must be the provider, protector and moral authority of the family; the woman, the home caretaker and the emotional glue to keep everything together.
The man must have a job and do his part by earning money to pay the bills and buy things for the family. When he does this, he feels good about himself and there is harmony. If things aren't going well jobwise, he is stressed out and the whole family suffers.
The mother and father must visibly show their love for each other in front of the kids, do things together as a family and ultimately, they must provide structure and order for the kids during the formative years in order to help ensure a strong, moral foundation and a strong sense of personal identity.
All children look up to their parents regardless of whether they're good or bad. Children want to idealize their parents, to make them out as very special people with infinite wisdom and concern for them.
Some day the bubble may burst and the children will see the parents as fallible human beings but for the moment, they look up to the parents and the father especially has a responsibility to lead by example, treat people right, don't do bad things in front of the kids and talk to them about how to develop as good people. Kids look up to their fathers and model themselves after them even they're negative guys.
According to revisionist traditional roles, the woman's place is not necessarily totally in the home, she's allowed to work if she wants but her domain is the house itself.
Her job is to make it nice both physically and atmosphere-wise, keep it clean, cook food, manage and spend the money regarding house matters.
She should be the boss of the house domestic-wise but the husband should be there too, helping her out with all the tasks and the decisions.
The wife's job is to take care of the children on a daily basis and nurture them with all the little scuffles and challenges of life.
You will see the face of God in the love for each other, the love for your family and the love your church community.
Many times you will feel hateful to your spouse or indifferent which is when you should keep your mouth shut and head down and continue to love her. Don't use your spouse as the gauge to your love as many people do.
They treat their partner as their partner treats them and expect equitable treatment. Sometimes you have to give a little bit more and if your spouse is incapacitated and can't help out, you have to pull the load for awhile.
Husbands often measure their work as the gauge of a successful marriage. If they're gainfully employed and paying the bills, they think the marriage is great but often don't realize there's a whole spiritual component there.
These are the roles in a nutshell. If they're not adhered to, for example, the husband isn't the breadwinner, the husband keeps control of the money instead of trusting his wife with it, the wife is a lazy slob, the wife neglects her kids in favor of her TV programs, either parents are addicted to something, single parent family, etc., etc., there will be dysfunction and in the end, the ones who invariably suffer are the children.
Some children from dysfunctional families grow up alright but at the very least, most have psychological scars and some grow up dysfunctional, passing these dysfunctions onto the next generation.
Finally, it doesn't matter if God is real or not if He fulfills a pragmatic function. I've seen countless stories of people who used religion to save themselves from self-destruction and save their failing marriages so at the very least, it can help make you a better person.
For a more indepth look at the traditional roles of man and woman, go to Job 29:1-25 and Proverbs 31:10-31 respectively.
Man’s Roles/ Woman’s Roles
According to the Holy Bible, the man is;
Symbolic head of the family.
Loves and honors his wife.
Becomes his wife's servant.
Provides for his family.
Tends to the spiritual part of his life.
Spends time with his wife in knowledge and understanding.
Is willing to supply her needs.
Responds to her sexually to fulfill her emotional needs.
Is willing to sacrifice his own comfort for his wife's.
Gets rid of all childish things.
Treats all women with gentleness and respect.
The woman;
Respects her husband as the head of the household.
Is obedient to her husband's wishes.
Submits herself to her husband.
Has reverence for her husband.
Loves her husband.
Is discreet.
Is chaste and virtuous.
Is a good housekeeper.
Is a good, compassionate person.
Is faithful and patient.
Is able to handle herself with others.
Is an independent, liberated person.
Is a dignified person.
Christian Family Websites
afa.net, american family association: promoting the biblical ethic of decency in american society with primary emphasis on tv and other media
cbmc.com, cbmc: christian business men's committee
christianity.net, official web site of christianity today, inc.
clm.org, clm: christian leadership ministries
ctvmichigan.org, citizens for traditional values
familynet-international.org daystarministries.com
familychristian.com
familylife.com, a family ministry of campus crusade for christ.
frc.org, family research council
family.org, focus on the family
profam.org, the howard center for family, religion & society.
mfforum.com, michigan family forum
promisekeepers.org, promise keepers, training men to be fathers and husbands that are of god
tmatt.net, on religion
gospelcom.net
ssi-online.org, student statesmanship institute is a dynamic biblical worldview and leadership training program established by the foundation for traditional values
acu.edu/alumni/perks/businesscards/categories/christianresources.html
archives.umc.org
brucegourley.com/christianfamilytreasures.htm
cfnetwork.co.uk, christian family network
christianasbookshelf.com, books to edify and encourage the conservative christian family.
christianbook.com, christian books, 800-christian.
christianbook.com, store.
christian-family.net
christianfamilychapel.com/resources, christian family chapel christian resources.
christianfamilyresources.net
christianliferesources.com
christian-parent.com
christiansunite.com
crosswalk.com
csj.net/~mkwoods, woods family web site
csspub.com, christian books.
duggarfamily.com/resources1.html
faithforthefamily.com
family.org
familychristian.com, store.
familychristianresources.org
familydevotionals.com
fishthe.net/top1000/
focusonthefamily.com
gcfamilies.org, great commission families
gospel.com
ifamilyway.com
impactzone.org/res_family.php
information on orthodox christian faith, homeschooling.
iwr.com/christian, christian links exchange.
mommyscozycorner.com
ncfrcministry.org, national christian family resources council.
nestfamily.com, family children's bible stories, christian videos
nph.com, pastor supplies
ourchurch.com
ourchurch.com/member/c/christxpress/
parentingministry.org
peggiesplace.com/family.htm
pioneerclubs.org, free kids ministry info
sfuptown.com/family/christ/
theselittleones.com, free christian family resources.
virtualholyland.com, biblically-based advice and guidance for marriage, parenting, godly family relationships and home-making.
The Good Woman is Modest & Virtuous
Who is a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubles. The heart of her husband safely trusts in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and works willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she brings food from afar. She rises while it's dark and gives meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. She looks at a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength and strengthens her arms. She sees to it that her merchandise is good; her candle stays bright by night. She lays her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the distaff. She stretches out her hand to the poor; yes, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.
She's not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders in the land. She makes fine linen and sells it; and delivers girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looks well to the ways of her household and doesn't eat in the bread of idleness. Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously; but you excellest them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:10-31
The Christian Woman, Pro View
Service to the husband as stated in Ephesians 5:24 does not imply being his slave but to serve him righteously as his helper in his job to run the household.
It begins with the attitude of helping him rather than being preoccupied with self-centered desires. 1 Peter 3:4 says that the unfading loveliness of a calm and gentle spirit is very precious in the eyes of God.
A good wife in the Christian sense is not a doormat but she is also not in her husband’s face nagging about what has he done for her lately. You do things for your husband because you want to be part of his world and enjoy it with him.
A wise wife doesn’t argue. She wants peace around the house. She discusses things with her husband without making blatant demands. A good wife talks less and listens more.
Christian women should be positive people in general. They should have the qualities described in another section about how to be a lady; graceful, nice, poised, uncontroversial, simple in a virtuous way, uncomplicated, pretty, supportive of the husband, be the one who takes the lead in getting a conversation going with the husband sometimes, be a woman of action in trying to make everything nice, be happy, take care of her looks and health, dress well, be loving, have children, be a good mother and don’t put too much pressure on the husband.
Stay beautiful for your husband by taking care of herself as she ages.
Proverbs 31:10-31 essentially describes the ideal Christian woman. This comes from an older version of the Bible, perhaps a more modern version in the vernacular will appeal to you better. In a nutshell, the Christian woman has the following characteristics. The number indicates the passage in Proverbs 31:
Trustworthy, 10.
Virtuous, 11.
Industrious, 13, 14, 28.
Generous, kind, 15.
Wise, 16, 27.
Strong, 17.
Compassionate, 19.
Dignified, 28.
Loves God, 30.
proverbs31.org
The Christian Woman, Negative View
A view states that Christianity is misogynistic.
Eve is looked upon as the evil one between her and Adam. Women are commanded to accept an inferior role. Here are a few misogynistic biblical passages:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as christ is the head of the church.
Ephesians 5:22–23
These [redeemed] are they which were not defiled with women.
Revelation 14:4
How then can man be justified with God? Or how can he be clean that is born of a woman?
Job 25:4
Look these ones up:
Colossians 3:18;
1 Peter 3:7;
1 Corinthians 11:3, 11:9, and 14:34; and 4.
1 Timothy 2:11–12 and 5:5–6.
Numbers 5:20–22
Leviticus 12:2–5 and 15:17–33.
Women were treated as property in the Christian nations until recently. They had no political rights, and their right to own property was severely restricted.
Men weren’t prosecuted for beating their wives until the last thirty years.
Exodus 22:18 says, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." Because of this, thousands of women were killed as witches.
There is still no female clergy in the Catholic Church.
Christian Women in the Bible
Even though it’s not politically correct, I will obey you as long as your request is reasonable.
Recent Wedding Vow
Better to live in out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife.
Proverbs 21:19
I found something more bitter than death the woman who is like a trap. The love she offers you will catch you like a net, and her arms around you will hold you like a chain. A man who pleases God can get away but she will catch the sinner.
Ecclesiastes 7:26
And the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:33
Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously,
but you excel them all. Favor is deceitful, and
beauty is vain, but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own work praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:25-31
You wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that if they obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the behavior of the wives, when they behold the purity and reverence of your conduct. Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold, or by putting on clothing. Rather, let your adornment be the inner self
of the heart, which never decays, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is of much value in the sight of God. Be like the’holy
women of ages past, who trusted in God and adorned themselves by being subject to their own husbands.
1 Peter 3:1-7
This kind of wife will do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31
Who is a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubles. The heart of her husband safely trusts in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and works willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she brings food from afar. She rises while it's dark and gives meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. She looks at a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength and strengthens her arms. She sees to it that her merchandise is good; her candle stays bright by night. She lays her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the distaff. She stretches out her hand to the poor; yes, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.
She's not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders in the land. She makes fine linen and sells it; and delivers girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looks well to the ways of her household and doesn't eat in the bread of idleness. Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously; but you excellest them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:10-31
No man is poor who has a godly mother.
Abe Lincoln
A gracious woman retains honor.Proverbs 11:16
Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish plucks it down with her hands.Proverbs 14:1
Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother.... When Jesus therefo saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing by, he said unto mother, "Woman, behold your son!" Then said he to the disciple, "Behol your mother!" And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.
John 19:25-27
Christian Women Websites
Books about Christian women are at #242.643 or BV4527 at the library.
theologygirl.com
christian-homemaking.com
christianitytoday.com/women
christianmovies.com
earlham.edu/~libr/acrlwss/wsstheo.html, women and religion.
everywomansbattle.com
familyradio.com
familytheater.org, 800-299-7729
jenson.ca
proverbs31.org
joyfulwoman.org
nccw.org, catholic women.
spiritledwoman.com
todayschristianwoman.net
todayschristianwoman.net
womenpriests.org
womenwhoworship.com
Today's Christian Woman
465 Gundersen Dr.
Carol Stream, Il 60188-2498
603-260-6200
Fax: 630-260-0114
tcwedit@aol.com
todayschristianwoman.net
Magazine.
Chapter 3. The Man is Head of the Family
The Christian Man
I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. This is something God recognizes I will do and God forgives me for it.
Jimmy Carter, former American President
Anyone who is too passionate a lover of his wife is an adulterer.
St. Jerome, 341-430
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church.
Ephesians 5
The hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4
Speak the truth with love.
Ephesians 4:15
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:3
For the husband is the head of the wife …
Ephesians 5:23
One that ruleth well in his own house
1 Timothy 3:4
Abstain from lust.
1 Peter 2:1
A Christian gentleman tries to be a positive force for the world by being humble, loving, supportive, gentle and helping people. He's not defined by money or his job even though he tries to do the best he can at his chosen profession. He tries not to be lustful nor jealous of the good fortune of others.
He's not egotistical and doesn't try to impress others with his possessions or his so-called status in the world. He tries to be nice all the time even when others are being nasty to him. A Christian gentleman tries to live like Jesus and lives to help and inspire his fellow man.
When you serve your wife out of love, you create Heaven in the home. Lasting marriages are built on compassion and grace. Pray for your wife and help her out with things out of blue just because you love her so much.
When the devil tempts you and you get mad at your wife and kids, hold on before you do something you will feel bad about later. It comes down to being calm and using Jesus as your mantra whenever you feel more like a savage than a Christian.
Focus on Jesus, what would he do in this situation and hopefully the feeling will pass in due tme. Keep praying for yourself to stay strong.
Pray, study the Bible and go to church together. Develop a Christian vision for your family. God comes first so each of you should have your own separate ritual with him.
Do family things together. Socialize with other Christians in social Christian events like revivals, summer camps, charities, etc. Love your children. Teach them well to live as humbly as Jesus did. Pray to be like Jesus.
Be kind. Tell the truth. Keep a standard of integrity. Keep your heart pure out of love for your wife. Be a team. Give your wife your time to help her, enjoy her company and listen when wants to talk to you. Treat her with love and she will bring it back to you.
Love each other even when you're not feeling so strong. Don't let the little things get to you. Never complain, criticize or cry like a big baby to get your way. The giver is the true lover. He loves his wife unconditionally. Whenever you don't feel particularly loving, always go back to the standby that always works, be humble like Jesus.
Try to eat together as a family (Acts 2:42). Honor your in-laws and her friends. Don't keep grudges from the past. Discuss your major life's issues as a family and make decisions as a team. Love unconditionally as God loves you.
Remaining pure Biblically according to God is to express your love to your wife but stop short of lewdness or lust. Don't feed your fantasies about lewd sex by watching stupid TV shows and pornography.
Focus on your innocent love for your wife and express it naturally, that's the way to have great sex according to the Bible. Know that your wife is not yours to own but God's property. Think that Jesus is watching your every move in the love department.
According to the Bible, God, you and your wife own your body. Romans 12:1 tells us to use our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God therefore we must not use our bodies in any way that disrespects Him which includes all sexual acts outside of matrimony including masturbation.
In 1 Corinthians 7: 4, the Bible says, "In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife" so if you cheat on her or have lusty thoughts of other women, you're dishonoring her.
So that's it. According to Christian thought, you get one wife for life, your sexuality belongs to her and God and anything else is lewd, forbidden behavior.
Of course, if you've read my introduction elsewhere in the book, you will know that to me this goes against the true primal nature of man which is why all men have sexual thoughts constantly even Christian ones so if you're a Christian man and struggling with your sexuality, have fellowship with other men and go to sexaddict.com for help in repressing your sex drive.
Men being the islands they often choose to be, need to open up and share their true feelings moreso than women who have their friends that they talk to. Men have friends too but they often don't talk about things that matter like the problems with the wife.
There's a Christian support group called Promise Keepers geared for men to take responsibility for themselves and be better husbands and family men.
It's non-threatening and inspirational, a good starting point for men to get together and honestly be themselves with each other. You don't have to talk, just sit there and listen to them speak. It will do wonders for your family life and you might make some good friends in the process.
Some scriptures to deal with lust are Cor.6:18, 2 Tim 2:22, James 4:7, Cor. 16:13, Rom 8:6, John 8:34 and Rom. 13:14.
Steven Arterburn of New Life Clinics wrote a book called Every Man's Battle which talks about masturbation and pornography as a bad thing. You should abstain from these things, honor your wife and have great sex with her where it properly belongs.
Flee From Sexual Immorality
In the Old Testament, Joseph, the son of Jacob who was sold into slavery by his brothers, became the Egyptian Pharoah’s main man then Pharoah’s wife tried to seduce him. He did the right thing and fled even she later lied and said he tried to seduce her.
The way to deal with temptation is to have an an authentic, vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ.
You can’t avoid the sexy images everywhere in modern mass media culture but you can train your mind to think it’s cheap exploitive crap.
There will always be challenges to your integrity.
Many men talk vile as a matter of course because they think they’re being macho and cool. When I was young and hanging around with friends, there was occassionally some foul-talking loudmouth among us. Usually I would stay there for awhile and make a note to avoid that person in the future. Don’t act as though I’m trying to befriend him if he approaches me in public.
Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them and take care of them just as Christ does the Church: for we are members of his body.
Ephesians 5:28-29
And let the wife see that she respects and reveres her husband, that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates him and esteems him and that she defers to him, praises him and loves and admires him exceedingly.
Ephesians 5:33
Christian Men's Resources
creflodollarministries.org, men's convention.
edcole.org
edgetown.com/edgetown/edge_fathers_rights
familyife.com, 800-358-6329
fathermag.com
fathers.com
fellowshipassociates.com
fotb.com
greatdads.org
honorbound.ag.org
josh.org
kofc.org, knights of columbus, catholic.
lifetoday.org
manchurch.com
maninthemirror.com
maninthemirror.org
marriagebuilders.com
men.crosswalk.com
ncmm.org
nationalministries.org/abmen
newlifeministry.org
new-life.net/ mastrbte.htm, masturbation from a christian pov.
newmanmagazine.com
pathmakers.org
pitt.edu/~jsims/singlefa
smallgroups.org
xs4all.nl/~sheldon
Christian Businessman
Magazine
888-858-5905
Christian Men's Network
251 Countryside Ct.
Southlake, Tx 76092
800-225-6263
edcole.org
Man In The Mirror Ministry
154 Wilshire Blvd.
Casselberry, Fl 32707
800-929-2536
maninthemirror.org
T.D. Jakes Manpower Rallies
800-989-9730
tdjakes.org
National Christian Men's Ministry
877-626-6266
ncmm.org
New Man Christian Magazine
Strang Comm.
600 Rinehart Rd.
Lake Mary, Fl 32746
800-829-3371
newmanmag.com
Promise Keepers
Pob 103001
Denver, Co 80250
800-551-3660
303-843-9812
Fax: 303-421-2918
promisekeepers.org
promisekeepers.ca, canada.
Sexual Addiction for Christians
Here is a passage from the book Think Before You Look! 40 Powerful Reasons To Avoid Pornography:
"The treacherous sea of pornography is drowning millions of young and middle-aged men. Research indicates that sixty percent of Christian men are addicted to pornography."
In Ephesians 5, Paul talks about the love of
Christ for the church (humanity) as so strong that he died for it. From this the implication is that we should love our spouses so much that we would be willing to die for each other which metaphotically means that great love means a willingness to sacrifice personal desires, including sexual ones. We should try to stay pure in the sexual sense for our wives.
A Christian man righteously has a noble
calling of being a man of honor and integrity in the sanctity of his marriage to such an extent that he is willing to sacrfice his other sexual desires in return for being with his wife purely. A normal Christian man still gets aroused by anything sexual but a good one will shut it off.
Even Christians say not all nudity is pornographic. It’s only pornographic when it shows people in a sexually provocative/ mmoral way. To this end, it goes back to the sermon on the mount. Are you lusting in your heart for someone other than your wife, even if it’s just a picture in a magazine?
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